Jen's Favourite Things
. . . which got me thinking: What items would be included in Jen's Favourite Things? And more importantly, what would someone be willing to pay for said items? So on that note, here is a list of Jen's Favourite Things. And I'm curious to see what you'd pay to add these items to the Jen Sharpe Shrine you've set-up in your basement, so don't hesitate to post your bid below. (All in good fun, of course. If demand is high, perhaps I'll look into getting permission to auction this stuff off for real. But don't count on it.)
JEN'S FAVOURITE THINGS
- One bucket (okay, two) of Rexall Place Press Box popcorn: Other than my homemade popcorn (air-popped with a pound of real butter), Press Box popcorn is the next best thing. It's salty, slightly stale, and an unnatural shade of yellow – just the way I like it!
- One pre-folded line-up card: I think I got this idea from the Moose Play by Play announcer Brian Munz (whose game-night setup was the ultimate display of statistical organization), but I like to fold my line-up cards in a very specific manner. I cover up all the info I never use and squish the rosters together so that they take up a sliver of previous work space and minimize paper-cut potential. It's the work of a true professional, so don't try this at home.
- One used Media Lounge punch card: This little laminated card is vital to my game-day routine. Not only does it authorize the bearer to 10 pre-game meals for the low LOW price of $20, but it also features an Oilers logo and impressive signature on the back. Alas, the card included in the basket will be completely used up, so no free food for you. But think of the bragging rights!
- One icy-cold practice puck: This is perhaps the only legitimate item in the basket. When watching practice, pucks sometimes fly into the stands and sometimes I am quick enough to grab one. They're very cold and usually have snow on them, so upon discovering one, I'll have to keep it in the freezer until basket delivery. Hope that's okay.
- One meet-&-greet with Crystal Leriger: Okay, maybe THIS is the only legitimate auction item. If you don't know who Crystal Leriger is, then you need to watch more Oilers TV, specifically The Link. And if you don't care about meeting Crystal Leriger, you are insane.
- One personalized “Off the Ice” graphic: You know those “Five Questions with ...” graphics that feature a player interacting with a random item or person, such as a toy car or Tony the Tiger? Well, for this basket item, I will create a graphic that features a photo of you! The only catch is that you'll have to answer a few questions about breakfast cereals and your iPod. But the interview shouldn't take longer than 43 minutes, so don't worry about it.
- One EdmontonOilers.com team-autographed Christmas photo: At the staff Christmas party, your web team posed for a group shot in front of a giant Christmas tree. A copy of this shot is sitting on my desk. You can have it. We'll even sign it for you.
- One game-used mouse, autographed by Jen Sharpe: Writing the game-recaps takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and now you can own a piece of Oilers history by bidding on the mouse that I use to navigate our website on game nights! The mouse is CSA approved and only slightly grimy, so it will make a handsome addition to your Sharpe Shrine/computer.
- Photo opportunity for you and a friend in the EdmontonOilers.com satellite office at Rexall Place: Not everyone gets to see where the magic happens, but you could! On an upcoming off-day, you and a friend will be invited to visit the Web Den (Rexall Place satellite location) and have your photo taken in front of our jumble of video equipment and/or a small section of Oilers wallpaper Steve recently taped up. (Disclaimer: Small friends only, as the room is tiny.)
- One Oilers road game from the comfort of your own home (cable/satellite required, PPV not included): I know what you're thinking: “But Jen, I ALWAYS watch road games from the comfort of my own home!” Yes, this is true, but this time you can watch a road game from the comfort of your own home FOR CHARITY! To complete the Jen Sharpe experience, be sure to sit on the floor and put your laptop on the coffee table. That's how the professionals watch road games.
Toss it all in a basket, wrap it up in cellophane, and you've got yourself one heckuva prize pack! If this was a real charity auction item, what would you bid?